Grey Matter Revealed

Why God, why?

2004-08-01T13:44:00.000-07:00

God, why did you make me irrisistable to woman? The reason I haven't been able to write is because I've been busy fighting. Fighting off woman. See everytime I wear my wife beater tank top, exposing my back hair the girls start runnning. My only friend tells me they are running away from me, but he's just jealous...I know they think I'm delicious.
I spent yesterday hanging out with my chia pets Bill and Hillary...just talking about girls and woman...I figure Bill knows a lot about that kind of thing. His marrage being such a sucess story and all.

I'm not shallow really...I also like deep things. I can't think of them right now, but believe me there are in my brain somewhere. I'll let you know if anything surfaces.

sailing and rude horses.

2004-07-15T20:57:00.000-07:00

I was five years old. It happened so suddenly... it was as if it was a dream that I can't remember... except I do remember... all too well, the day a remarkably rude horse stepped on my head.

They call it TPR (a.k.a Traumatic Pigment Regression). It occurs during an exceedingly shocking or traumatic event, usualy in early childhood years, when the only way your body can cope with the trauma is to try to drastically age itself in order to bypass the trauma. Therefore pigment is often lost in certain parts of the body as it naturally occurs in elderly people. In my case it was my left eye. Because that's the side of my head where the most pressure was being applied. And at the same exact time I saw an extremely scary bug. That coupled with the horse stepping on my head was enough to make my left eye go grey.

It wasn't even my fault. I was just playing dead body, a game me and my friends made up where I pretended to be a dead body and they pretended to go get help. They always left me there for quite some time... I guess it was really hard to find help. Either that or they weren't really good at the game.

One very rude horse ruined a perfectly good game by prancing on my head. Since then I never play dead body near a farm, and I always look for alternate modes of transportation other than horses... which has led me to sailing. I plan to read at least a book or two on the subject. Then I shall circumnavigate the globe, or sail around the world for those of who are not familiar with the type of language us sailors use. I will update you all on that shortly. Oh, and if anyone has a sailboat that they might not be using, I have a friend who would be willing to trade a bicycle, a coffee machine, and possibly even a set of ice skates sizes 8 to 11, two pair for each size, for use of the sailboat. Please contact me though, seeing as my friend is blind and deaf and only speaks french, but not the kind the french people speak.

D.F. Wup

Is there a greater mystery than joy?

2004-07-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

yes there is.

women.

I mean... you follow one around for a couple weeks just to find out where she lives and she goes and calls the cops on you!!!

And then you simply try to explain that you're just trying to return her lost purse, not trying to to find her address on her driver's license, she simply dropped it in the park, i didn't take it from the park bench when she wasn't looking. I mean... i can understand how she could take it like that, me hiding in the bushes and all... with binoculars... but you see, i'm a birdwatcher.

But anyways... so I'm outside her house and alls i did was walk up to the window to see if she was busy. and she sees me and freaks out, and pretends like she doesn't even know me!!!

And that's when the cops came.

D.F.Wup